Every year two things come in August, hurricanes and school. To be honest they don’t seem all that different to me and this year they happened to come at the same time. On top of that this week started with more than I can even begin to describe… a few crazy things… pop sickles that didn’t freeze in time Monday morning to give out at UCF so I had 30 minutes to make a plan “b”, I dropped a cooler on the way out to UCF to give out pop sickles, our back to school bbq (perhaps our best ever) was going great with students hanging out having a great time when a massive thunder storm abruptly ends everything, a yard under water, other things i can’t mention, etc etc.

The worst though was yesterday Kelly took Owen to the Dr and the Dr told Kelly that Owen’s skull might be fusing to quickly. Right now we don’t know anything other than it “might be”. Friday we are going to Arnold Palmer Children’s Hospital for tests. If it is fusing to quickly it could mean a bunch of things including surgeries or other options. Needless to say the toughest week of the year just got even tougher. Pray for our little guy. I can’t tell you how much much I love him and how much I want to protect him but can’t. This will always be true.

As I rode around on my lawn mower tonight I was thinking about this and the other issues I am dealing with concerning people I love and the realities of the brokenness of creation and I never wanted heaven to come to earth more in my entire life. I can’t wait till all that is sad will come untrue. I can’t wait till all things will be made new. Longing…..

I have to apologize for my son. He loves to give what I like to call the bird (aka middle finger). It is his gesture of choice (about 1/3 of his existence he waves it) and something he and many do not realize is that in some cultures the bird is offensive. If you are offended, remember that every time he does it he has four fingers pointing right back at himself and chuckle knowing you are actually the victor.

So I got to go and emcee and teach a seminar for a highschool conference at Covenant College which is basically on top of Chattanooga. It was a great week and I am glad to be home… Kelly posted some pictures I took and I thought I would add some more. Some from an overlook on Lookout Mt and some from my friend Radar’s blueberry patch which I was completely coveting.

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I love to fish I used to love to fish (almost everyday of my life I fished from 12-18). As I have aged I have fished less and less. Part of this is for obvious life reasons (baseball, money, seminary, work, job, wife, child) but one thing I have learned is that people put their money where there heart is and that often isn’t where their mouth is.

For example,you can say you love other people but if you never do anything for them that is costly for yourself do you really love them? It is one thing to give out of excess it is another thing to give people when it might actually cost, inconvenience, even hurt you (examples, be honest with them, give them resources they don’t have, etc). I love me more than others and the proof is in my checkbook and life not in my mouth. We always go after our greatest loves.

So back to fishing if I say I love it yet don’t do it often do I love it? I think I do I just think there are things that I love more and it costs me. I actually mourn at times the fact that I don’t fish as I did as kid and I long for the day when I will fish again.

During our fiasco weekend I got to go fishing with my brother Erik and a guy I grew up with. Here are the pictures of what I wish I did more of.

Start by reading Kelly’s blog about the attempted car jacking of her, Owen, and scout. I am so thankful for God’s provision as we have played out the insanity of all this and how someone that bold (stupid) had to be packing heat and phased by nothing. We have thought things like what if I walked out on this happening (would I have gotten shot?), what if the doors weren’t locked, what if Scout wasn’t going crazy, etc etc. The reality is that they are only what ifs and I am extremely thankful for what God did do… Protect my family. Times are desperate and the world is not safe (never has been) but I am confident that Jesus is victorious and that he reigns and nothing can separate us from him and nothing will stop him from making all things new. He has promised to bring his reign to earth as it is in heaven. I long for that.

Here are some pictures from friday of Kelly and Owen… No wonder somebody wanted to steal them. They might be the most beautiful mother/ son duo of all time!

He is loving the pool (or not)!

Fathers day was exhausting for Owen

We went a couple of weeks ago to the Winter Park farmers market, here are some pictures.

do you see the bird (Owen’s choice posture)

I love this boy

Today is a first. I woke up with a hat (look above) and breakfast from the 2j’s from my lady.

I can’t even begin to describe how amazing it is being a father and how overwhelmingly blessed I feel. I knew going in that you could only prepare for being a parent like you could prepare for marriage… Expect the unexpected and until you are “in it” you won’t know what it is like and how hard and great it actually is. I love Owen more than I could ever have imagined (which is crazy to me). One of the things having Owen has really taught me is that I am a desperate man. Here is a song by Andy Gullahorn (who is amazing by the way) that really seems to describe how I feel as a dad.

DESPERATE MAN
I know I just display my foolish pride
When I try to be an island to myself
You must be tired of all the stuff that I still hide
Because I just can’t seem to trust anyone else
It’s a lonely way to live
Such a lonely way to live

I’m a desperate man
I’m in desperate need
Of your saving hand
To come and rescue me

You’ve been more than patient all this time
If it were me I would have given up long ago
The first time that you pulled me from the mire
And I brushed you off to dig another hole
It’s a sad way to live
Such a sad, sad way to live

I’m a desperate man
I’m in desperate need
Of your saving hand
To come and rescue me

I used to be the strong one
The self-sufficient fool
I thought I needed no one
But the plain and simple truth
Is I’m a desperate man

I’m a desperate man
I’m in desperate need
Of your saving hand
To come and rescue me

Here is my summer reading list: Some I have finished, some started, some I hope to start soon. I read like I act (total A.D.D) so take this list as you may. I read a bunch of different types of books at once that really have different categories in my mind so it is not overload and actually helps me to get through a bunch of different types of books.

Do you have any books that are must reads? Most of the books on this list were recommended to me by other people and I always love to find books that other people absolutely love. (just so you don’t think wow Ande reads a lot… some of these books are shorter than my hair and I read about 1/8 of what I should read for my job).

Here is the List:

Good to Great by Jim Collins: This is an unbelievable read about what made 11 companies “great”(they exceeded market by 3 times for 15 straight years). If you are a “leader” of any sort (business, church, non profit) I would consider this a must read.

The Dip: by Seth Godin: Most people don’t know when to stick things out and when to quit the right things. Quiting is where it is at. A good quick (few hour read) and enough good stuff in it that I would recommend it.

Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges: How do grace and discipline fit together? This book is also something well worth your read as is most things Jerry Bridges writes.

Mediated by Thomas De Zengotita: How the Media shapes your world and the way you live in it. Just started this book (which is not a christian book) recommended by a student. So far it is quite fascinating. I will let you know more when I finished.

The Cross Centered Life by C.J. Mahaney: Keeping the Gospel the Main Thing. This is something VERY short and something that I would recommend reading every few months.

On Being Presbyterian by Sean Michael Lucas: Our beliefs, practices, and stories. So far I have really enjoyed this though some of the stuff is stuff I know (some I didn’t know) it is good to hear again. If you are wondering what makes Ande a Presbyterian… read this it will help you understand (not that anybody really cares.)

I am doing the Parables of Luke this fall in large group so I have been picking at some of these books trying to get ready.

The Parables of Grace by Robert Farrar Capon:            The Gospel of Luke by Joel B. Green:        Poet and Peasant and through a Peasant Eyes: A literary-cultural approach to the Parables in Luke. Kenneth E. Bailey

Holy Spirit, Church, and New Creation (volume 4)by Herman Bavinck: I am reading the Church section right now and I am totally enjoying it.

Ordinary People by Judith Guest: On my I am hoping to read list. Highly recommended by a student.

The last few weeks have been amazingly non stop in a somewhat nothing is going on kind of way. It would seem that being summer I would have time to blog more but with the Owen addition plus work it seems that I am running all day and when I sit down I am spent (you parents out there are saying tell me about it). It is not so much the lack of sleep as it is the inconsistency of a sleep schedule. I was actually thinking pulling out of my driveway today that Owen could be an amazingly good sleeper/baby but when all you have is him to compare himself to it seems he is both a handful and at the same time wonderful. From what I hear he is actually quit good at being a baby… he sleeps sometimes 4-5 hours at a time at night (sometimes a lot less) and he doesn’t fuss for the heck of it (yet). I guess until you have a handful of kids you will not know just how good of a baby a baby actually is. Regardless the truth is that it has gotten a ton better and he is an absolute joy (as I am typing right now kelly is yelling “omg he is spewing everywhere”… true story). I absolutely love Owen and he is changing the way I see the world.

One other thing I can say without a doubt is that Kelly is an amazing mom. I am shocked at the bond that she already has with this little guy. She got the touch.

Today is Owen’s 3rd week in this world and I can’t believe it.

I wanted to write a few surprises (a few post back but didn’t get to it) I have had thus far into fatherhood. There are so many things I didn’t anticipate. Here are a few….

- I didn’t expect to be able to change diapers like it was no big deal… I always thought it was weird to be in the room during a diaper change.. not anymore…

- I didn’t expect Owen to pick his head up and look around or flip over at a few days old. It totally got me by surprise to see him roll over and almost off the coach.

- I was surprised at how many times I could be urinated on and still smile.

- I am surpised by the cracker barrel pees that Owen takes. I will look at everything he soaked and look at him and look at everything he soaked again and try to figure if it is physically possible that he could make that much urine.

- I have been surprised to say the least at how many things have happened… not expecting all the ordeals.

- I was surprised at how I reacted to him coming out… I totally thought I would cry at the very moment but it took about 5 hours for that to happen.

- I am surprised at how great Kelly has done in light of all the junk she has going on… on the same line I am surprised at how natural it is for her to be mom.

- I am surprised at how many times I have kissed Owen and sung stupid songs (ok.. I’m not that surprised).

- I am surprised at how many people care about Owen and us.

- I am surprised at the amount of times you have to change his clothes during the day.

- I am surprised how much our conversations now revolve around poop and pee (without even thinking twice about it). Either talking smell, texture (seedy is my favorite), amount, time lapse between.. etc etc